


paint my world (and hack it too)

by ellaphunt19, fiveyaaas, JjdoggieS, sunchime



Series: love in the cyber age [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Apparently “nerdy neopets friends au” isn’t already a tag 🙄, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Crushes, Eventual Romance, F/M, Five will hack the neopets server yes, Fluff, He will do so for getting vanya presents yes, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Tragically Pining Idiots, a truly bold take on businessman five i’d say, gratuitous amounts of references to the early 00’s, if you don’t know what neopets is i’m gonna need you to google it, like.......... in the second fic of the series tho LMAO, there WILL be moodboards there WILL be playlists there WILL be five fics in the series, this fic is the brainchild of four separate people, truly an ICONIC time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaphunt19/pseuds/ellaphunt19, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JjdoggieS/pseuds/JjdoggieS, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunchime/pseuds/sunchime
Summary: It started because she wanted that damn paintbrush, and it ended with Five hacking into a popular website server (and stabbing somebody, but that’s less relevant).[Neopets AU]
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: love in the cyber age [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019037
Comments: 71
Kudos: 93





	1. JubJubs, Journaling, and Just Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Alright!!! A few things-  
> 1) This fic is a collaborative effort by ellaphunt19, sunchime, JjDoggieS, and fiveyaaas.  
> 2) This will be a part of a series of five fics, seven chapters each (yes, it’s for the vibe, you’re welcome LMAO)  
> 3) The fics within the series will each block out a significant time in their lives, juxtaposed with a website they’re using at the time.  
> 4) Leonard WILL exist as a stuffed animal only, and Reginald WILL be dead by the very beginning. There WON’T be further explanation, and you WILL have to deal with this knowledge.  
> 5) Interspersed within the fic, there will be easter eggs that reference some of the fics of each of the writers!  
> 6) This fic is something you might have to google a few things for if you’re not a product of the early 00s, but we're happy to explain any questions y’all have.

Turning twelve years old was the worst thing that happened to anybody, ever. 

It was particularly awful because Luther kept teasing him about his “little crush.” Vanya was _not_ his crush, and Luther was a jerk and stupid and-

Five had been best friends with Vanya since he was four, having met her at the neighborhood pool when he moved to her hometown after his father died and his mother took a surgery job there. He’d gone to the pool with his twin, tripping on the concrete and landing, concussed, into the five foot section. Sadly, Five was a nickname that stuck for many years and never truly left him, but he’d been given it by the angel standing above him, claiming she’d learned safety precautions at the YMCA before yelling to the lifeguard that he was dying. 

Later, he would go to her house, standing next to his mom and holding a plate of cookies and trying not to touch the seven staples in his forehead, used to prevent a scar from forming but itchy from the summer heat. His mother was grateful to Vanya for diving into the pool and saving him, but he was mortified, barely looking at her at all except from his periphery. 

Vanya didn’t want him to ignore her though, telling him he was her new best friend and he couldn’t argue because she saved his life. Five just nodded dazedly before she dragged him into her house, telling him if he wanted twinkies he was stupid. As Five had gotten food poisoning from twinkies when he was younger, he was grateful that his new best friend had good taste. She made fluffernutters instead, which he’d never eaten before, but she told him he had to like them or he was stupid. So, he tried them, and he was happy that he actually liked them because he was frankly terrified of disagreeing with Vanya by that point. 

Their friendship developed over time, spending time at one another’s house everyday, falling asleep on one another until Miss Tatiana picked her up or his mom picked him up. They both rode the same bus home from school each day when they started first grade, alternating between their houses according to their moms’ work schedules. 

Vanya became not only his best friend, but she became his confidante. She admitted to him one day about how she sometimes felt like her two adoptive siblings didn’t like her, that she was glad she had _any_ friend at all. Sometimes, she’d pretend to have a project to work on with Five, so they could sleep in the same bed, falling asleep on one another and not feeling alone in that moment. A lot of times, they didn’t have to lie, considering Five’s mom worked the night shift sometimes. On those nights, Miss Tatiana let him stay over, and he’d share Go-GURTS or fluffernutters with her before they went to bed. Many nights he would stay up late, watching her sleep. As she grew older and felt even more isolated, she often looked sad, but she never looked sad when she was asleep. 

He told her, once, about his Father dying. About how he didn’t remember life really at all before him, but he sometimes felt like his mother was much happier after he was gone. Five didn’t think he would have liked his father, and he was glad to have never known him much deeper than the distant memories he had. When he’d told Vanya that, he’d expected her to argue with him, say that he should have wanted to have a father figure in his life. Instead, she’d shrugged and said, _‘My brother and sister and I never knew our fathers, and we’re just fine.’_ It was odd, how happy it made him for her to not judge him, but he hugged her tightly and told her that he was really glad that she was his best friend. 

As soon as middle school had started, Vanya’s adoptive siblings, Allison and Klaus, along with Luther had been bothering him about his “crush.” 

Suffice to say, she _was not his crush._ They were best friends! Vanya had even made friendship bracelets from her Lisa Frank bead collection when they were in fourth grade. All three of them were morons who didn’t understand that he and Vanya didn’t _have_ to be dating to be best friends. 

“Five?” 

He glanced up in horror, closing his journal and shoving it under his pillow, staring at Vanya as she walked in. She hadn’t stopped looking as angelic as the day he’d first met her, which made it harder to hastily hide his burning cheeks with his hands, pretending that it was something the cool kids were doing and knowing absolutely that it was a futile attempt to make himself calm down. “Hey, Vanya,” he croaked, hearing his voice crack and wanting to cry on his pillow. However, if he did, it may dislodge the pillow, and it may expose the journal, and it may expose _what he was writing about._ So, he had to tough it out. “What’s up?” 

She shrugged her Hello Kitty backpack off her shoulders, having insisted on keeping it through middle school despite everybody else using solid colored Jansports by that point. As she did, she asked, “Can I use your computer?”

“Sure,” Five said, confused. “What for?”

“There’s this website! I saw a commercial for it on Cartoon Network while I was watching _Powerpuff Girls_ reruns. It’s called _Neopets._ Looks like a lot of fun!” 

Five frowned, “You walked to my house to play a game on my computer?” He nudged a blanket on top of the pillow, praying she wouldn’t find the diary before he remembered, “When you have a computer at your home?”

Vanya sighed, loudly, “I wanted us _both_ to play, Five. Obviously.” 

Five shrugged, “Okay, but you can’t stay the night.” 

Vanya pouted, and he almost relented before she asked, “Why not?” 

Panicking, he remembered the journal, which he would have to set ablaze tonight. “I have an errand,” he said vaguely. 

Vanya rolled her eyes, “Fine. Sit beside me?”

“There’s very little room on just the one chair,” he pointed out. She gestured vaguely in the direction to the set of blow-up plastic furniture in the corner of his room, and he scowled. “That won’t help me see the computer. It’s so low to the ground!” 

“Do you want to spend time with me or not?” Vanya snapped, sounding dangerously close to her four-year-old self, who’d threatened him if he stopped being her best friend that she’d drop him back in the pool and get him an even worse concussion. Well, actually, she’d said ‘’cussion’ but she’d also been four years old, so he didn’t think she actually knew what a concussion was. He hoped. 

“I always want to spend time with you,” Five blurted, blushing again and deeply grateful that his voice didn’t crack again. “How do we play Neopets?”

She typed something into the search bar, and they waited about twenty minutes or so for it to load up. Eventually, it got there, and Vanya beamed triumphantly at him. “I just need your email to sign you up,” she told him. 

“Why me?”

“Because I need to set up an email. I’m trying to decide between an AOL or a Yahoo email address,” Vanya explained, eyebrows knitting together.

“I already told you, Vanya! Yahoo is the way of the future,” Five sighed, typing in his email quickly and thanking Mavis Beacon for his superior capabilities. If he didn’t type fast in front of her, she might have thought he was a total loser. He typed all the other information into the ‘create a new account’ section before adding, “Alright, we’ll get a snack while we wait for this to load. I put in all the information, but that’ll take twenty minutes at least.” 

“Fluffernutters?”

“Of course.”

They hurried off to his kitchen, eating the snack in there and talking about their day. Five changed the subject any time Luther, Allison, or Klaus were brought up, and Vanya seemed confused as to why he was avoiding talking about them. Thankfully, she didn’t ask him to explain. He would have quite possibly died of embarrassment if she had. 

When they got back to his room, the information had all loaded. Five then had to choose his first Neopet. He would have searched for a very long time, debating the pros and cons of each pet and what they could bring to the table, but then he saw it- a JubJub. It had huge, expressive eyes, reminding him of Vanya. When she asked him why he chose JubJub, he absentmindedly replied that it looked like her, making her rant angrily that it had enormous feet, protesting that her feet were very normal sizes and if anything small.

When she was done with her tirade, he’d already picked out stats for the pet as well as a name- _thevi0lin575757._ He kept typing in a bunch of names into the site, but, for some reason, every name he’d given to the pet had been taken already. Eventually, after adding enough numbers, the name worked. 

“Well,” Five announced. “I guess we should figure out how to play.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you haven’t already, check out our mood boards and Spotify playlist for this story!
> 
> [Click here to view Five’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635180972048089088/she-was-not-his-crush-they-were-best-friends)
> 
> [Click here to view Vanya’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635885311846694912/it-was-all-too-muchit-felt-like-as-soon-as-she)
> 
> [Click here to listen to the Neopets Era playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4u2Eg2u0EaOzkH71xhCm9O?si=uJ27-Zb9SCy1HsiTlXGixg)


	2. Kyriis, Keepsakes, Consulting, and Kissing Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left a kudos or comment in the first chapter! We appreciate your support and love discovering all the nostalgia it's brought to our readers in the comments. (The nostalgia is definitely hitting us hard as well.)
> 
> While the first chapter was in Five's POV, this chapter will be in Vanya's POV. For this series, we plan to be switching POVs for every other chapter.
> 
> We hope you enjoy this chapter!

When Five’s mother tucked her head into the door, announcing that she was home and had already called Vanya’s mom, Tatiana, and informed her that Vanya may stay the night, Five shrieked, “She is _not_ spending the night!”

Vanya winced, frowning at her best friend, who wasn’t looking at her and kept shoving a small book behind him. 

Grace smiled sadly at them, clearly worried about them being in another one of their epic week-long fights. Vanya honestly didn’t _know_ ; he hadn’t wanted to sit in the same chair as her despite always having shared before, including both of their beds. Then, he’d insisted she left saying only that he had ‘an errand,’ which Grace clearly knew nothing about. Was Five trying to push her away? 

She wondered why he would do that, and the only thing she could possibly come up with was that she was too childish for him. Everyone always bullied her for her Hello Kitty backpack and Lisa Frank stationary these days, insisting that she’s in middle school now, that she needs to act like an _adult._ Was Five like that too? Did Five think she was too much of a baby? 

He did sometimes act flustered when she cried, and everyone always called her a crybaby. Oh, God, and she’d just joined _Neopets_ with him. 

Another thought came to her then, that Five was also doing it because she was _plain._ Vanya had refused to start wearing makeup in public, always looking like a raccoon anytime she ever attempted to try it out. And she wasn’t funny like Klaus or popular like Allison. Maybe he’d rather be their friend. Maybe their _entire friendship_ had been a _scheme_ to become their friend.

When Vanya sullenly walked home after hastily saying goodbye to Grace and refusing to even look at Five, she stumbled into a cardboard stand. Klaus had started reading the Sunday paper comics again, and he was trying to imitate Lucy Van Pelt from _Peanuts,_ with the ‘psychiatric help’ sign _._ Vanya was only 90% certain it was a ploy to steal from them all.

But, she could use some advice. 

She rang the bell he’d set out, and Klaus appeared from underneath the cardboard, a giant bruise on his neck that Vanya was pretty sure she knew the origin of and also didn’t want to ask _at all._

“Hello, dearest sister. Are you seeking help from me?”

She glanced around, hoping none of her neighbors were watching. “Yes.”

“One quarter please.”

“Lucy only charged a nickel!” 

“The economy has changed since the 1960’s, Vanya. Besides, I’m in high demand, a hot commodity. I have other clients than you, and you’re getting a _good_ deal.”

Vanya frowned at him as she fished around her pockets for change, “What do you mean _I’m_ getting a good deal?”

“I usually charge a dollar!”

“It’s illegal to impersonate medical professionals,” Vanya told him, a clear threat in her voice. “Or, well, it probably is.”

“Probably won’t put me in prison, V,” Klaus said. “Besides, you _need_ me. So pay up.”

She slammed a quarter down, sitting down on what was actually _her_ desk chair and frowning. “Okay, how long do your sessions cost?”

Klaus frowned. “One quarter per fifteen minutes.” 

“One quarter per _thirty_ minutes,” Vanya bargained. Throwing out the big guns, she amended, “Or I’ll tell Mom.”

Klaus pursed his lips a few minutes before nodding, “Shoot.”

“I think Five doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

He took on a German-sounding accent, “I see.” 

“He kicked me out and wouldn’t let me sit in the same chair as him.” 

“And where do you think your Father comes into this?”

“Neither of us have a Father,” Vanya snapped. “You _know_ that.”

“You have more of a dad than me. Allison and I were adopted, meaning we have _no_ dad. Yours is just dead or something.”

Vanya scowled at him. 

“Have you considered that maybe Five doesn’t want to be around you because he’s deeply in love with you and doesn’t want to spend time with you during the height of his raging hormones and budding sexuality?”

Ignoring the last part of his question, Vanya stammered out, ears red, “Five isn’t in _love_ with me.”

“What’s your evidence to say he’s not?”

“He doesn’t even…” She darted her eyes around, lowering her voice as quietly as she could, _“Like like_ me.” 

“That _you_ know about.” Klaus sighed. “Oh, young love.”

“It’s _not.”_

“Alright, then why are you confiding in me and not your confidante?”

Vanya gasped, not wanting to admit her own betrayal. “I am… _consulting_ with you.” 

“Right, and why?”

“Because he’s being weird!” 

“Oh, how vexing, Five being weird! Pretty soon he’s going to start liking _math_ or _homework."_

“Five doesn’t like homework,” Vanya protested. 

“But he likes _you.”_

Vanya groaned, stomping off to her bedroom. Klaus was calling out to her from far away, saying that he could read her astrological chart too for more money, but she slammed her door shut.

When she started crying, her mind supplied her with the word ‘crybaby,’ repeating it over and over and over again. She laid down against her giant plush leopard that Five had won for her at the state fair last year, too overwhelmed with everything going on. 

Five _didn’t_ like her that way (if he even liked her at all any more). Sure, Five had been her first kiss, but that had been in fourth grade and for _good_ reason. After she and Five had watched a serial killer documentary on CBS from behind her couch that her mother and Miss Grace told them they had to go to their room for, popping open a bottle of wine and curling up together to watch it during their designated weekly ‘Mom’s club,’ Vanya worried that her first kiss would be a serial killer. She’d confided this fear in Five, that she’d always dreamed of her first kiss being in the rain with someone who actually liked her, and the next day he’d convinced Klaus to hold a garden hose over them and hastily pecked her on the lips, accidentally going too fast and causing them both to get a bloody nose. 

It wasn’t a romantic thing at all that he’d done it; he was simply ensuring her first kiss wasn’t a serial killer as a good best friend would. 

She supposed there was another thing that another person could _technically_ interpret as romantic. If they were _really_ reaching though. 

For as long as Vanya and Five had been best friends, Allison and Luther had been friends too. This was all fine until one day when they were about ten and Allison had pulled her to the side and told Vanya that she had a crush on Luther. 

And, after that, chaos. 

Luther had started doing all the chores he could for Grace to save up for a locket, and he’d eventually saved up enough to get a silver locket for her. Unfortunately, when he’d given it to her, he’d been horrified to realize it had been engraved with _‘to Vanya, my best friend.’_ Allison had cried for the months that he saved up to get a golden locket for her, but Vanya had smiled the night that Five had dug it out of the shallow grave in Vanya’s backyard that Allison had thrown it in, gently clasping it around her neck before muttering that silver looked really pretty with her eyes. 

While on some level she knew Five had just done that as a prank to Luther, she also always wore that necklace, a keepsake from her best friend in the entire world. He’d gone to the work to get it engraved, and she was beyond grateful that her best friend thought to dedicate his prank to her. 

Now, though, she didn’t even know if he was her best friend anymore. Five had been acting weird for a while, but he was practically acting like a _jerk_ tonight. It was all too much- it felt like as soon as she hit twelve years old, everything went wrong. She started to feel new things all the time, including these confusing and conflicting feelings for Five. When news of the fall dance had started popping up everywhere, these feelings grew to outright terror. It seemed like they were all growing up, and, even if it made her childish, she didn’t like it. She just wanted to keep being a kid.

Vanya didn’t want a best friend that didn’t want her. She didn’t think she could handle it in all of the influx of feelings she’d been having. 

So, she took off her locket, knowing she wouldn’t put it back on tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you haven’t already, check out our mood boards and Spotify playlist for this story!
> 
> [Click here to view Five’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635180972048089088/she-was-not-his-crush-they-were-best-friends)
> 
> [Click here to view Vanya’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635885311846694912/it-was-all-too-muchit-felt-like-as-soon-as-she)
> 
> [Click here to listen to the Neopets Era playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4u2Eg2u0EaOzkH71xhCm9O?si=uJ27-Zb9SCy1HsiTlXGixg)


	3. Lenny, Lying, Lamenting, Love, and Losing Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Apologies for this being updated a little late! It was just finals season/dead week for half the writers, so we were all incredibly busy! Plus, all of us are doing fic-mas, and half of us started the collection.
> 
> (Also! Side note: If any of y’all want to [participate in fic-mas](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Harcest_Ficmas/profile#faq), Julia and Tori would love you forever! 😭 All Harcest ships are welcome!)
> 
> We hope you enjoy this chapter!

When Five went to algebra the day after Vanya came to his house, he immediately started scanning the classroom for his best friend. She was nowhere to be seen. They had exactly 5 classes together on their schedule: science, english, geography, Spanish, and algebra. Algebra was their last hour, so she was either _very_ late or sick. Normally when Vanya got sick though, she made sure to tell Five to get her homework. 

Should he have gotten her homework? Oh god, what if she had wanted him to get her homework and he hadn’t?

As if sensing the impending panic, Vanya sat down beside him, not looking at him. There were assigned seats in algebra, but he and Vanya often got to sit together in their classes because Five was most likable when he was with Vanya.

“Hey, why are you so la—” Five abruptly cut himself off when he noticed her neck. And the necklace _not on it._

“Vanya?” he squeaked, cursing his cracking voice.

She didn’t seem to hear him. Or, doomsday scenario, she was giving him one of her notorious, infamous and _cruel_ silent treatments. 

His favorite class was about to be the longest fifty-two minutes of his entire life. 

When Miss Agnes, the older woman who taught all of the higher level math classes, started class, he gulped, trying to work through the multi-step equation she’d put up for morning work (though, really, if it was two o’clock, shouldn’t it be afternoon work?), but he could feel Vanya’s gaze on him. Every time his eyes flitted over to her, she wasn’t looking. The locket was nowhere to be seen, and she’d been wearing it for _years._

There was only one possible explanation. Vanya was romantically involved with a serial killer, like she had feared. They’d been each other’s first kisses because of this fear, but now she would stop being his friend to make her partner (the serial killer) happy.

If Five was ever going to win her back, there was only one way to do so.

He would have to seek out Klaus for consultation.

* * *

Five had gone to Klaus’s Consulting, Co. the first time last week. He’d nearly rejected the “offer,” knowing it was a scheme to steal his money. However, he’d also wanted to discuss this with someone who couldn’t legally disclose his private thoughts with anybody else. Klaus claimed he respected the HIPAA law, and he also claimed he had _other clients._

It was very clear to both of them who the other clients were referring to, and Five found himself agreeing to his price of one dollar immediately. 

When he reached Klaus’s stand, he rang the bell 20 times before Klaus hopped out. Apparently, he had been napping the entire time. 

“Two dollars,” Klaus told him blearily. 

“Two dollars?” Five asked incredulously. “Last week it was one.”

“Inflation, Five. Blame capitalism, if you want to blame anything. Well, that and the fact that you made Vanya cry.”

His entire body stilled, feeling blood start to pound in his ears. “I did what?”

“Three dollars,” Klaus told him. “I’m breaking HIPAA for this, might as well get something out of it.” 

Five slapped down a bill with Lincoln’s face. 

Klaus raised his brows amusedly, “Is this some sort of power move? Using a _five_ dollar bill? Is this all you carry?” 

He scowled, “You know that Five isn’t actually my name.”

“Yeah, it is!”

“No, my name is—” A long honk from a semi driver covered his words, and he didn’t bother saying them aloud. Vanya’s silhouette was visible through her bedroom window, and if he called himself something other than Five it might make her even more upset. “But the reason I used a five dollar bill was because I need more time.”

“Give me another five, and I’ll tell you how to _fix_ your problem.”

He fished out another bill from his wallet, handing it to him wordlessly. 

“Alright, so here’s the deal. According to the notes I took during Vanya and I’s most recent session—”

“You _do_ violate HIPAA,” Five accused. 

“Oh, please, Five, grow _up._ That’s the reason I am the best psychologist in town. I have all the good gossip!”

His right eye twitched. “Do you gossip about me at all?”

“No, Five, you’re _totally_ fine.”

He exhaled. “Okay, alright. That’s fine, I guess, then.” 

“So, here’s the deal. Vanya thinks that _you_ think she acts baby-like.”

Five was confused. “Why does she think that?”

“Beats me, we were trying to get more into Freudian psychology. Ya know, talking about her mom and stuff, but Mom said that Freud was actually a sexist, disgusting, evil bastard and that I wasn’t allowed to use his theories anymore. Aunt Grace agreed, so…” Aunt Grace was what Vanya and her siblings sometimes called his mom (moreso Allison and Klaus, though, as Vanya usually called Mom ‘Miss Grace’). It was because Miss Tatiana and Mom were best friends forever, always calling all of them a giant family. He didn't ever understand why they were so insistent upon it, but he didn’t ever try to argue. Klaus interrupted his train of thought, “Anyways, I don’t really know _why_ Vanya thinks that you think she acts like a baby, but I _do_ know that the only feasible solution is to say that, even if you think she’s a giant baby, you love her anyways.”

“Vanya’s not a baby, though,” Five defended. 

“Not the point. It’s about _embracing_ who Vanya is.”

“At this point, what you’re saying isn’t even psychobabble. It’s just nonsense.” Five stood up, getting ready to walk home. 

And then completely faltering when he heard what Klaus said next, “I noticed she wasn’t wearing her necklace today.”

He whirled around, “You noticed that too? When did it happen?”

“She wasn’t wearing it when we went to school this morning.”

“Vanya was at school this morning?”

Klaus nodded, “She spent most of the day crying in the bathroom. I use the girl’s bathroom sometimes, for a new perspective, and I heard her crying. We had an impromptu appointment.”

Five felt a pain in his stomach. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

“I mean, most likely. What’s something baby-like that she’s done recently? It’ll help me prepare for the grand gesture.”

“Grand gesture?”

“Yeah, romcoms always need a grand gesture.” 

“Romcoms?”

“Romantic comedies. You’re starring in one, and you’re still in the exposition stage. Catch up, Five.” 

He frowned. “What’s a romantic gesture?”

“You know, what the love interest does for the quirky yet totally professional yet sexy yet sweet yet fun yet single girl.” 

_“What?”_

Klaus sighed, “You’re hopeless. Now, what’s something she’s done lately that’s immature?”

“She _did_ sign up for Neopets.”

“Neopets is badass and a fun game for all, but go on.”

“What if I got her something dealing with Neopets?”

“Ooh, I like it. What would you get her? I feel like you’d probably have to make it.”

“I could… uh. Sew her something.”

“Do you know how to sew?”

“My mom is a surgeon, so she probably knows how to sew. How different could sewing fabric be from sewing bodies?”

* * *

As it turned out, vastly different. Mom kept staring at the creation they were working on together, a plushie modeled after the Neopet, Lenny, with a flustered look. “Five, dear, could you get me more thread? I seem to have broken the last thread I was using.”

By broken, she meant she threw it into a fire. Apparently, neither of them were having a good time. 

“Yeah, here,” he handed her the thread. “Should I try, maybe?”

_“No!”_

Five blinked at her, confused why she was so upset. She cleared her throat quickly, “Sorry, dear. I have just been frustrated with something, don’t worry about it. Have you and Vanya talked in the past few days?”

“Uh, no. Why?”

One of the eyes Five had sewed on was popping out. Five imagined glass eyes made for plushies with a small, amused smile. 

“Well, no reason, just your Aunt Tatiana was, uh, _worried_ earlier.”

“Oh, well, it’s not a big deal. That’s why I’m making the Lenny plushie, actually.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, dear. Well, it’s all done. You’re welcome to bedazzle it or whatever else the kids are doing these days, but I am going to go to bed. Good night, Five.”

He nodded, trying to sew the eye back on Lenny a few times before, frustrated, he ripped it out of the socket and accepted it would have only one eye.

* * *

Klaus was actually a better therapist than Five had given him credit for. When he showed up to Vanya’s house the next day with the peace offering, Vanya’s eyes filled with tears, which at first concerned him, but then she’d thrown her arms around him and told him that he was forgiven. (He still wasn’t entirely certain he did wrong in the first place, but he wasn’t going to argue with a good thing.) 

When they walked into her house, he caught Miss Tatiana’s eyes filled with relief that they weren’t fighting anymore. 

* * *

The next few weeks were torture. While Vanya still spent time with him, he was now the third wheel between her and _Lenny._ It was stupid! All Lenny ever did was stare blankly with his one stupid, ugly eye, yet he got _all_ of Vanya’s attention. Every time Five started to think that maybe, just maybe, he’d get some attention too, she paid even more attention to Lenny. 

It was unsettling. The purpose of Lenny had been that Vanya was supposed to not be mad at Five anymore. And, yeah, technically Vanya wasn’t _mad_ at him anymore, but she was now better friends with Lenny than him. 

But then, something truly horrible happened.

When Vanya said, ‘I love you,’ Five felt his heart spike. He turned around to face her, and she was staring at Lenny. 

“Why are you so obsessed with that thing?” Five snapped. 

“Wh- what do you mean?”

“It’s just a toy, Vanya.” His cheeks were growing flushed, eyes narrowing. There was no way he could possibly explain _why_ he was mad because he had no idea whatsoever. All he knew was that he _was,_ and that he wanted to take it out on the ugly, disgusting, stupid, terrible plushie. 

“You don’t have to be so mean,” Vanya mumbled, face flushing as she glanced down. 

His heart started to pound again. For a different reason than before, he was pretty sure. 

There was only one thing he could do now. He stared at Lenny, accepting what must be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you haven’t already, check out our mood boards and Spotify playlist for this story!
> 
> [Click here to view Five’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635180972048089088/she-was-not-his-crush-they-were-best-friends)
> 
> [Click here to view Vanya’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635885311846694912/it-was-all-too-muchit-felt-like-as-soon-as-she)
> 
> [Click here to listen to the Neopets Era playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4u2Eg2u0EaOzkH71xhCm9O?si=uJ27-Zb9SCy1HsiTlXGixg)


	4. Poogles, Paintbrushes, Puka, Pain, Pools, and Possibly Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter will mention periods and stabbing, but will not be going into any graphic detail of both topics.

Vanya made a small noise as she looked through Neopia Central, trying to decide if she should go take a chance at the Faerie Wheel. It usually took over 24 hours before it stopped spinning, and she didn’t suspect that she’d ever be able to get the Faerie Paint Brush that she desired. Technically, she _could_ try to save up enough money to where she could trade for one. It wasn’t an _awful_ idea. She’d counted a lot of potatoes in her time on Neopets, and she was pretty sure that she would get enough if she worked with the Lottery and Neostocks as well. 

A thought occurred to her, to go to the Poogle races, hoping that she could win a little and add it to her bank account. As she clicked on Faerie world, a random occurrence screen hovered over the world, saying that she’d received a Faerie Paint Brush. Confused, she went to her inventory, realizing that she had acquired _four_ Paint Brushes, including a Starry Paint Brush, a Speckled Paint Brush, a Baby Paint Brush, and the Faerie Paint Brush she knew about. 

“Am I… _lucky_ on Neopets?” Vanya asked the Lenny plushie, tipping her chin over and realizing that the little bird wasn’t beside her. Worried, she called out, “Lenny?” 

He didn’t respond, unfortunately. Vanya started searching around her room, raising her voice as she started calling for the plushie some more. She could _not_ lose him. Five had worked so hard to make him, and she couldn’t handle the thought of him realizing that she’d lost something he made her. For a second there, Vanya had worried that they would stop being friends forever, and, now, she was certain that he would leave her behind, assuming that she thought nothing of his friendship if she couldn’t even take care of a gift that he’d given her. 

Vanya opened her door a crack, wondering if Mom put it in the washing machine or moved it for some other reason. As soon as she could peek out into the hallway, her vision was filled with Allison, and she glanced up at her in confusion. “Allison? Have you seen Lenny?”

Allison shook her head. “Vanya, I need you to call Five up. Luther was supposed to be here by now. We’re going roller skating tonight, and, ideally, he’ll fall in love with me when he sees my frosted lip gloss and parachute pants under the romantic glow of the disco lights. My horoscope says that we’re compatible, so I’m _pretty sure_ that means we’re soulmates.” 

Vanya blinked, not responding to the request from Allison. She couldn’t call Five until she found Lenny. He would certainly be able to tell that she was hiding something, always having some sort of affinity for figuring out when she was being evasive with him. “Do you know where Klaus is?”

“He’s at the arcade, trying to beat my score on _Dance Dance Revolution._ I’m pretty sure that he’s using his allowance on it, but, for some reason, he’s managed to play a _lot.”_ Allison pursed her lips, obviously wondering how Klaus had gotten more money. Vanya didn’t venture to tell her. “Could you call Five, though? If I call Luther then he’ll think that I’m clingy. Plus, yesterday he asked if I wanted to join a group project with him in history, and I’m starting to think that it’s like the situation with J.T. and Liberty on _Degrassi_ , which wouldn’t work for me because I don’t even _understand_ history.”

When Allison started rambling like this, Vanya nearly zoned out, having listened to her rant about Luther for years without ever hearing anything even _remotely_ interesting from it. However, her mention of _Degrassi_ led Vanya to believe that this was more serious than she thought. “I’ll call Five,” Vanya promised, heaving a sigh. It was for Allison, she reminded herself. She only had one sister, after all. 

She trudged to the kitchen, grabbing the telephone off the receiver and dialing Five’s house. She wondered if anybody had as tragic and awful of a life as her, ever. Whenever Vanya refused to eat the traditional Russian borscht every Sunday, Mom always insisted that there were people starving in her own backyard, but she had never been able to find them. 

“Hello?” 

Vanya panicked at Five’s voice. “I lost Lenny because I’m a bad friend,” she blurted. “I’m so sorry, Five. Please don’t hate me forever and become friends with Klaus instead.”

_“What?”_

She burst into tears, blubbering into the phone, “I’m never going to have a friend as good as you—”

“Vanya,” Five interrupted. “It’s fine.”

When she kept crying, Five said her name more insistently, _“Vanya.”_

“I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you,” Vanya whimpered. 

“Uh, okay? Mom is taking Luther and Allison to the skating rink in a bit, would you want to come too? And then we can call it even?”

Maybe Allison had extra frosted lip gloss. She never let anybody use the cupcake flavor she got at Claire’s, but she was pretty sure that she might still have some of the ice cream flavored stuff that Mom had gotten them when she’d been selling for Avon one year. 

“I’d love to go!” Vanya told him, not sure why she was blushing as she hung up the phone. Allison was staring expectantly at her from the living room, trying to subtly peek at her from behind their Damask sofa. “Allison, you know I can see you, right?”

Allison didn’t make any sudden movements. 

“Could you give me a makeover?” Vanya asked her, knowing that she would be able to convince her this way. As expected, Allison ambled over to her, clapping excitedly. “I _only_ want you to pick out my clothes, but I suppose you’re also allowed to fix my hair. And do lip gloss.”

“What about eyeshadow? I have this glittery dark green hue in my eyeshadow palette, you know the one shaped like a butterfly? It would look great with your skin tone, you’re _definitely_ a winter.” Vanya wasn’t sure if Allison knew what a winter was (she certainly didn’t), but her sister continued ranting, “I have the _perfect_ outfit for you. Ohmygod, this is going to be a double date!” She made a squeaking noise that Vanya was pretty sure was a good thing, but she couldn’t focus on any of that, not with the completely _absurd_ thing Allison had just said. 

“This isn't a date!” Vanya snapped. “Five doesn’t…” She glanced around to make sure nobody else could hear them. _“Like like_ me.”

“No, I think he, like, really like likes you.”

Vanya shook her head, panicking as Allison dragged her to her room and started shoving clothes in her direction. Bewildered, Vanya pulled on the lace-up jeans, a popcorn shirt, and platform flip flops. Allison said she should instead go for a ‘more natural’ look, probably not wanting Vanya to eclipse the light blue eyeshadow and Claire’s lip gloss combo, so Vanya let her shove a little vanilla Lip Smackers on her lips and pull her hair back with two pink butterfly clips, wishing that she could explain somehow that Five didn’t like her that way, knowing that Allison wouldn’t listen.

When she heard the doorbell ring, Allison rushed off to open the door, beaming when she saw Luther. Five peeked over to Vanya, cheeks going red once he saw her. As she reached his side, he muttered, “You look pretty.” It sounded like he was begrudging about the fact.

“Thanks, Five. You look pretty too. I like your puka necklace; it’s cool. And your hair gel smells very… _strong.”_

He started to reply, but then there was a honk from Aunt Grace. They all walked to her car, and she smiled at Allison and Vanya sweetly. “You two look very pretty. Did Tatiana get a picture of you guys?”

“She ran out of cameras last week for my dance recital,” Allison reported. “Speaking of which, could you go get them developed at the pharmacy? Mom is taking forever to get it done, and, for all we know, they’ll stop developing cameras before she does it.”

“Oh, don’t worry, sweetie,” Grace assured. “The pharmacy will never stop developing cameras. How else would we get our photos?”

“You have a point,” Allison acquiesced, and Grace smiled at her again. 

When they got to the skating rink, Grace told them that she and Tatiana were going to have a Girls’ Night and to have the rink call them when they were done. Five and Luther blushed when she hugged them and kissed their cheeks, which made Vanya confused. Aunt Grace was so fun. Why would they _ever_ be embarrassed by her?

As the disco lights hit their bodies, and Luther looked over at Allison, Vanya looked to Five, wondering why she kept thinking of her sister mentioning that thing about falling in love under the rink’s lights. She swiped her tongue over her lips, tasting vanilla Lip Smackers, and Five grabbed her arm, dragging her to get their roller skates.

Just as they got onto the rink, the announcer called out that it was now the couple's skate time and that every person that skated without a partner had to skate backwards.

“Take my hand,” Five snapped. “I refuse to skate backwards.” Allison and Luther were holding hands too, smiling at one another. 

“What if they figure out we’re not a couple?”

Five frowned at her. “They won’t. The employees here are all sixteen, and sixteen year olds are all idiots. Plus, if anybody suspects anything, I’ll just kiss your cheek.”

Vanya wondered how she could convince the employees that they _weren’t_ a couple, and then she blushed, realizing what she’d just thought. As Five grabbed her hand, she said, “I’m really sorry about Lenny.”

Five was glaring daggers at Allison and Luther. 

“Five?”

He turned around, hissing, _“What?”_

“I said that I’m sorry about Lenny,” she said meekly, feeling like she should hide behind her hair but knowing she couldn’t, not with the butterfly clips keeping it pulled back. “You worked so hard on that thing, and—”

“Stop talking about Lenny,” Five said through gritted teeth. “Lenny is stupid and ugly and—”

Vanya realized he was probably more upset about her losing Lenny than she originally thought. “Oh, Five.”

Luther kissed Allison’s cheek, and Five’s left eye started twitching, looking like the apocalypse was about to happen and he had to solve it. “Doesn’t even have an _engraved_ locket,” he grumbled to himself. 

“Why are you mad at Luther and Allison?”

Five looked confused. “I’m not mad at Luther and Allison.”

“You were just grumbling about the locket.”

“Was not.”

A thought went to Vanya’s mind, and she could feel the exact second her heart stopped beating. “Five—”

“Stop calling me that, you _know_ my name is—”

The speaker boomed above them. “All of you lovely couples are looking great out there. I’ve just been informed that it’s Kenny’s birthday party tonight, so happy thirteenth birthday, Kenny!”

Vanya couldn’t focus on the sounds of Kool & the Gang's _Celebration._ All of the times she’d thought that he’d only been her friend to become friends with Klaus and Allison came back. She thought of every time her classmates’ had had crushes on Allison but never her. About the time this new guy, Patrick, had asked Vanya to go to the Valentine’s Day dance one year, only for her to find out he’d just been trying to go with her sister, hoping that he could get Allison to notice that he took sympathy on pathetic, little Vanya and would want to date him. 

“You like Allison,” Vanya accused loudly, slapping her hand over her mouth and feeling her cheeks heat up, glancing around wildly. Tears were starting to prick the corners of her eyes, and, the second he shot her an upset and bewildered look, they spilled over, running down her cheeks. “Oh, my god. I have to go.”

“Vanya, wait—”

She darted to the snack bar, asking for their telephone. Her hands were shaking as she dialed Mom’s house. 

“Hello?” Mom sounded out of breath, and Vanya wondered if she and Aunt Grace were working out with their Tae-Bo VHS tape again. They worked out a lot on their Girls’ Nights, and Vanya didn’t understand why they’d use their recreation time for that, especially when they were always so sweaty by the time they picked up the kids. 

“Mom, can you pick me up?” Vanya sobbed. “I wanna go home.”

“Of course, honey. Grace and I will be over there shortly. Are the others ready to go home too?”

“I don’t think so.” Vanya looked down at the galaxy print carpet, body trembling and lips wobbling. “I’m really sorry, Mom.”

“No, it’s fine. There’s an ice cream parlor by the skating rink. How about you, me, and Aunt Grace go get some ice cream, okay?”

Vanya flinched away when she saw Five. She saw pain flash over his eyes, but he respected her distance. “Okay, Mom.”

When Tatiana got there, she told Five that they’d be back in an hour, and he nodded shakily to her, swallowing as he stared at Vanya helplessly. 

“What happened, dear?” Grace asked when she caught the sight of her, still crying. 

“Five likes Allison,” she muttered miserably, getting into the car and immediately leaning against the door after she’d closed it. 

Aunt Grace and Mom exchanged a glance. “Why do you think that, sweetie?”

“Everybody likes Allison,” Vanya said, tugging at the laces on her jeans. “She’s pretty and fun and popular, and I’m ordinary.”

“Why would you ever think that?” Mom asked, glancing back to her as she turned the key in the ignition. 

“Because I _am._ Nobody _really_ wants to be my friend. I’m annoying and a crybaby and Five is only friends with me because he’s trying to be Allison’s boyfriend.”

Tatiana made a small, displeased noise, and Grace told her, “That’s not true, dear. Five always gets the biggest smile on his face when you call, and every time you guys get in a fight, he always asks me for ways that he could convince you to forgive him.”

Vanya shook her head. “You don’t have to lie to me, Aunt Grace. I know he doesn’t want to be friends with me, and… sometimes I feel like I don’t want to be friends with him. Not because I don’t want to be his friend, mind you. I just want him to be around people he actually likes.”

They reached the ice cream parlor, and Mom kept trying to get her to speak again but Vanya didn’t think she could speak at all. 

“Vanya—”

“Maybe give her a little space, Tatiana,” Grace mumbled. “We can talk about this more later.” Mom gave her a dark look before her features softened, touching Aunt Grace’s cheek quickly and causing her to smile. _They_ never doubted that they were each other’s best friends forever. Vanya shoveled bites of rocky road into her mouth, wishing that she had what they had together with Five. 

Mom and Aunt Grace apparently decided that she wouldn’t speak to them for the rest of the night and started talking quietly to one another. An hour later, they drove to the rink, Aunt Grace going inside and grabbing the others. 

Her and Five didn’t speak together again for the rest of the night. 

* * *

When Five didn’t call her the next day, Vanya was even more determined to find Lenny, deciding that the second she found him that Five would forgive her and they could go back to being friends again. Ideally, she would be able to find it by the end of the weekend, and she could go to school on Monday and show him that she was a good friend. Then, when he saw that she was still devoted to their friendship, he would forgive her and ideally stop being in love with Allison and take Vanya to the roller rink. 

Maybe Vanya should have Allison give her a really good makeover before they go to the roller rink again. 

As she scoured her room, she ignored all calls from Five, knowing that he would just be saying some crap about not liking Allison that way. He’d kept trying to say that he thought of Allison as a sister, which Vanya only knew because he kept having Klaus relay this message, getting fifteen dollars every time Five insisted that he didn’t think of Allison that way and Klaus told her in a bored voice, counting out his money stacks. Really, Five should stop insisting that he thought of Allison like that because it just made him sound like a freak who wanted to marry his sister. 

Unfortunately, no matter how much she tried, she could not find Lenny anywhere. 

Mom was starting to get concerned about her, asking her regularly if she knew what puberty was or if she had to get Grace to explain it to her. Vanya wanted to explain that she wasn’t going through puberty, she was going through a coming of age, like in the movies. She was starting to realize that Five didn’t want to be her friend for _her,_ and she was trying to figure out what life would be like without him. In the case that she couldn’t find her Lenny plushie, at least. It was the only reason she hadn’t given up on finding him. Five was the kind of friend worth fighting for, and Vanya was going to fight to keep her friend. 

“Mom, do you know where my Lenny plushie is?”

Mom, having heard this question many times already, asked, “Do you wanna borrow my car keys and see if he’s in the minivan?”

Vanya, having heard this response many times already, nodded solemnly. She grabbed the keys from Mom, determined that this would be the time to find him again. Who knows? Maybe she would have a _Toy Story_ moment like when Andy found Woody and Buzz Lightyear in the car. Ever since she watched the movie with Five, she always tried to peek into her room to see if she would catch her teddy bear, Mr. Snuggles, come to life. When she marched to the car, she let herself hope that this would be the time that she found Lenny. Subsequently, Five would want to be her friend again, and all would be okay. 

As she climbed into the back, she searched under the seats, reaching forward until her hand got caught on something. Confused, she pulled it back, realizing what it was the second it got into her line of vision. 

Five’s puka shell necklace. She started crying, clutching it to her chest and wishing that she could have her friend back. When Mom found her, she made a small noise, carrying her into the house and telling her this was a natural part of becoming a woman and that she’d buy her some chocolate and Midol later. Vanya, still holding the necklace to her chest, accepted the (misplaced) comfort, asking Mom if she could talk to Grace and see if Five was mad at her. Mom easily agreed, brushing her hair back as she set her down on the couch. “I’ll go call her now, honey. If Klaus bothers you about getting your period, tell him that he’s grounded.”

Vanya, not worried about that happening because she had _not_ gotten her period, nodded, brushing tears away. 

While Mom was on the phone, she logged back onto Neopets, realizing she had acquired another five Paint Brushes. For the past seven days, she’d gotten five new Paint Brushes each day. Even if she was lucky on Neopets, she wasn’t lucky in her real life, so what did it matter?

* * *

The next day, Five knocked on the door to their house until Mom let him inside, muttering in Russian to herself. Vanya didn’t know the language very well, but she could tell from the tone that she was lamenting the youths. When Five saw her sniffling, he practically teleported to her side, hugging her quickly. 

“Miss Tatiana,” he called. 

“Yes, Five?” she asked, cutting beets up for one of her recipes. 

“Could Vanya and I go on a walk?”

“Of course, but make sure not to take candy from strangers or whatever.” She didn’t look up from her cooking, so Vanya and Five walked outside.

“Where are we going?” Vanya asked him, stuffing her hands into her pockets. 

“The pool.”

“The pool? It’s closed.”

“I talked to the neighborhood association head, who handles all matters in the neighborhood _including_ the pool, and she agreed to give me the keys to the gate. After I pulled out a knife.”

Vanya shrugged; she supposed that made sense. _“Why_ are we going to the pool, though?” 

He glanced around, cheeks bright red. Finally, he cleared his throat. “You remember how we became friends, right?”

“You got a concussion at the neighborhood pool, and I saved your life.”

“I’d _hardly_ say…” he trailed off. “You know what? Fine, yeah, sure. You saved my life. Anyways, I just wanted—”

Vanya, puckering her lips, not sure if she actually knew what puckering was, asked, “What did you want, Five?”

He looked confused. “Can it wait until we’re at the pool?”

“Uh, yeah, I suppose.”

Five grabbed her hand, unlocking the gate and taking her to the five foot section, where he’d fallen years ago. When they were standing right next to the edge, the pool having been empty but not covered, Five told her, “I know that we’re not the same kids we once were. Mom explained to me that you were going through some changes—”

“Aunt Grace did _what?”_

“But it doesn’t matter, Vanya. I will _always_ want to be your best friend. You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t ever want to lose you. Even though you took off the locket, you’re still my sole confidante.”

She made a small noise. 

“Years ago, I fell into this pool, busted my head open, and met the best friend I will ever have. Vanya, I know you don’t believe me, but I _don’t_ like like Allison. I barely even tolerate her. Who I _really_ like like is—”

Five yelled. He’d taken a step back, and he was now plummeting, seemingly in slow motion, to the empty pool, head rushing towards the concrete. Horrified, Vanya started screaming too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you haven’t already, check out our mood boards and Spotify playlist for this story!
> 
> [Click here to view Five’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635180972048089088/she-was-not-his-crush-they-were-best-friends)
> 
> [Click here to view Vanya’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635885311846694912/it-was-all-too-muchit-felt-like-as-soon-as-she)
> 
> [Click here to listen to the Neopets Era playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4u2Eg2u0EaOzkH71xhCm9O?si=uJ27-Zb9SCy1HsiTlXGixg)


	5. Hissis, Hero, Hacking, Hope, Healing, Heart to Heart, and Happily Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this next chapter! Also, some of us will be posting some Fiveya one-shots soon, so look forward to more content coming your way!

“Vanya called 911 for me getting a concussion?” Five asked Mom, who was standing with Miss Tatiana, looking panicked. “Where is she now?’

“She’s talking to Klaus. Said something about HIPAA? I’m not really sure, honestly,” Mom shrugged. “Anyways, yeah, she went to the closest neighbor to the pool and yelled at her to call 911 loud enough that she just did it.”

Five nodded, figuring that made sense. He wondered if Mom and Miss Tatiana had already forgotten that Klaus had started a business, but they were clearly a little distracted with the fact that he had a concussion. His mother kept glancing over to him, critically staring at his head like there was something very wrong with him. Normally, having a surgeon as a mother meant that she waved off any of his injuries, but she was now eyeing him like he was going to die at any moment. 

“Mom, am I okay?”

“Yes, sweetie,” she assured. “Are you and Vanya…” She glanced at Tatiana. “Are you two still fighting?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was about to tell her something—” He could feel his cheeks heat. What he’d been about to tell her was stupid. Clearly, if it wasn’t a stupid plan, then the world wouldn’t have launched him into cement and cracked his head open. “But it doesn’t matter, anyways.”

Five was pretty sure it had been one of those scenarios where absence made the heart grow fonder. He’d been away from Vanya for a week, so he’d convinced himself that he liked her in a way _other_ than as his best friend forever and sole confidante. 

“What were you going to tell her?” Mom asked gently. 

Tatiana elbowed her. “Grace,” she said under her breath, not very talented at lowering her voice. Five had a suspicion that she wasn’t trying to, anyways. “You can’t force him to admit his feelings. He’s an idiot.”

“I’m not an idiot—” Five stopped arguing with Miss Tatiana as Vanya tip-toed into the room. When he heard the monitor on his heartbeat start to skyrocket, Vanya’s mom shot both him and Mom a smug look. “Hey, Vanya,” he said, heart stammering and mortifying him completely. “What’s up?”

“I saved your life,” she blurted, sounding exactly like she had the day that he’d kept him from drowning when they were four years old. “You’d be dead without me.” 

His lips curled, and he only wished for death a little when his voice cracked. “That and the YMCA.”

“There wasn’t any water. It was me who saved you.” 

Now she sounded like the day she’d threatened him with another ‘’cussion,’ and Five, still in pain from his current one, didn’t try to argue with her. “You’re my hero,” Five told her instead. 

As he stared at her, reminded of how he’d become her friend in the first place, he couldn’t help but let the guilt overtake him. 

“Mom, when can I go home?” Five asked, needing to consult with his journal. 

“You have to stay the night here.”

“I need my journal,” he whispered, much better at whispering than Miss Tatiana. 

Mom nodded in understanding, digging through her purse for a few seconds before pulling his journal out. Five stared at her, gasping, “How did you possibly find this?”

“It was under your pillow, sweetie. Not that subtle.” 

Five had never felt so betrayed in all of his twelve years. “Mom,” he said, hoping Vanya couldn’t notice the fact that his face was heating up. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“Grace, I’m going to take the kids home. You want to stay here with him, I assume?”

“Yes, thank you, Tatiana. Does Luther need any clothes or anything for school?”

“No, I talked to him already, and he’s going to borrow from Klaus. Do you need anything? Some blankets and pillows, maybe?”

“I’ll be fine.” Mom hugged Miss Tatiana before crouching down to hug Vanya, who looked much smaller when she was hugging her. She had still not reached five foot, but she was determined to get a growth spurt. “Thank you so much for taking care of Five. He’s lucky to have as wonderful a friend as you.”

“Thanks, Aunt Grace,” Vanya said, tearing up. She usually only called her that when she was scared or overwhelmed, and Five’s guilt rose. Vanya waved to him quickly, “I’ll get all your homework for you at school.” 

“See you in Heaven, Seven.” 

She paused, nearly stumbling over her feet. He’d refused to say that once they’d gotten into middle school, not wanting everybody to know that they’d met when Vanya had nearly saved his life, but it was one of the first things he’d said to Vanya. 

In his concussed haze, Five had genuinely thought that she was an angel. Now, he didn’t know if it was true, but Vanya swore up and down that he’d said, ‘See you in Heaven.’ The part he was _certain_ wasn’t true was when he added ‘Seven’ to the end, and that Vanya had just been trying to have an excuse to call him ‘Five’ when he woke up and it not be mean (which he was pretty sure four-year-old Vanya hadn’t cared about and Miss Tatiana only pretended to care about). 

When she glanced back and smiled brightly at him, the heart monitor informed all of them that his heart was speeding. “Stay alive, Five.”

* * *

_Journal (Not Diary, Despite What Miss Tatiana Insinuated) Entry 9/24/01_

_I have done something truly terrible. After I got a concussion and went to the hospital today, I saw Vanya, and my guilt has persisted to unimaginable levels. (Side note: look up ‘persisted’ in the dictionary tomorrow and make sure you used that word properly.) Mom had my journal in her purse because apparently she doesn’t RESPECT PRIVACY OF ANYBODY because she’s an EMOTIONLESS ROBOT. Plus, her best friend and Vanya’s mom, Miss Tatiana, implied that this was a diary which it’s NOT._

_Anyways, I’m going to tell you, my JOURNAL, what I did. And it’s bad. Like WORSE than the END OF THE WORLD._

_First, I must set the stage, which is hard because I feel like I’m going to pass out, but, anyways, the reason that Vanya and I went to the pool was because we had this huge fight where she gave me the silent treatment. Which is STUPID, but I TRIED to give her the silent treatment in return for a bit but she didn’t even notice that I was doing it so I told Klaus that I’d give him fifteen dollars every time he told Vanya that I was sorry which I got from this old guy with a bad toupee that I see on TV sometimes by hacking into his bank account OH CRAP I FORGOT TO ADD THE HACKING NEOPETS PART_

_Okay, so anyway Vanya was mad at me because I killed something and I was desperately trying to get her to like me again so I hacked into the Neopets server, which was pretty easy because I just got a book at the library. I had done something super awful, and I was guilty. So I got her a bunch of paintbrushes. Five everyday, hoping that she would receive subliminal messages and try to talk to me._

_Now, I will confess the worst thing I have ever done._

_I killed Lenny, Vanya’s stuffed animal. He was ruining our friendship, and I had to do what I thought was necessary. So I chucked Lenny into my fireplace when Mom wasn’t looking and watched him burn to death. Now I fear she will find out, and then I will have ruined our friendship entirely. Knowing what it feels like to not have her for seven days is too much, and I cannot imagine not having her as my best friend for even longer than that._

_Today I almost confessed my feelings to Vanya but I don’t know if I meant it. It was stupid, but I was so worried about losing her and I realized that I might like like her, but then I cracked my head open and now I KNOW I don’t like like her._

_I am going to bed now. Bye._

* * *

Vanya came to his house the next day, holding his homework in her arms, smiling shyly, like she wasn’t sure if they were friends again. Five didn’t know if they were, either. If he hadn’t gotten concussed, he didn’t know if she would have accepted his apology or not, and he didn’t want her to be his friend again just because she felt guilty that he’d hit his head and had to go to the hospital. 

“Do you want to stay over for a bit?” Five asked. “Mom probably wouldn’t mind if you stayed the night, either.”

“I don’t think I should,” Vanya said, and he deflated. “It’s just… I think I need a little bit of space right now.” Five wasn’t sure if she was just saying that because she saw it in movies frequently or not, but he had his answer with her next words. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

“Vanya, I’m really sorry—”

“No, Five, it’s fine. Really, it’s fine. Plus, you might fall off the bed and hurt your head more if I sleep next to you, and I don’t want that to happen.”

Five glanced down. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Uh, bye, V.” He didn’t try to say, ‘See you in Heaven, Seven’ this time around, knowing that she’d probably only said, ‘Stay alive, Five’ when he’d been in the ER because she’d felt guilty. 

She closed the door behind her, and he hoped that she would be back tomorrow. He wasn’t allowed to go back to school, per the doctor’s orders, until next week, so, unless Vanya came and visited him, he wouldn’t see her until then, either. 

* * *

Mom visited him in his room an hour or so after Vanya came in, holding a plate with dinner on it. She’d made him peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches and milk (plus a salad and a bunch of carrots and celery on the side that she said he had to eat since he was eating his favorite sandwich for dinner). Five accepted the plate, thanking his mother. 

“No problem, sweetie.” 

She started to walk away, but Five asked, “Mom, can you stay for a bit?”

“Sure, I’ll go grab a chair. One sec.”

Five tried not to feel embarrassed for asking his mom to spend time with him, despite knowing that if anybody at school heard about it they’d call him a baby. The only person he knew for sure would never judge him for wanting his mom around would be Vanya, but he didn’t know if they were still friends, if they would be when he got back to school. 

“Five, what’s wrong?” Mom asked. She’d grabbed a book, and Five realized it was one that she’d read to him a lot when he was much younger. It used to be that, every time he got sick, she’d read to him, but, in the past few years, he’d asked her to stop. Five found that he really wanted his mom to read to him again, that he wanted to do something that he might get called a baby for. Vanya had never stopped doing what she enjoyed for other people, and maybe he’d never have gotten into any of this mess if he’d just been more like his best friend. “You’ve been acting so sad recently. I’d thought that you and Vanya had made up, but you only ever act like this when you two are fighting.”

He glanced down to his covers, not sure how he could ask this without looking stupid. “Mom, do you think that all friendships end? That you’ll always move on from one another when you lose importance to one another and stop caring about the same things?”

She frowned at him. “Five, where is this coming from?”

“It feels like Vanya and I aren’t the same as we have always been, and I think that it’s because we’re growing older. She and I… it’s not that I dislike what she likes, but I worry about what everyone else thinks when we’re together. I know that’s probably not fair, but I sometimes think that she doesn’t even want to be my friend, regardless. Everybody always bugs me about our friendship, like we should be something more, and sometimes I think that it’s going to just… make it go away completely.”

Her eyes softened, and she ruffled his hair. “Can I tell you something?”

Five nodded. 

“You know how Tatiana and I are best friends?”

“Yeah, you became friends because Vanya and I were friends, right?”

“Oh, no, sweetie. Tatiana and I have been best friends since we were in college.” 

He blinked, shocked. “Is that why you moved here?”

She nodded. “After I lost your father, I wanted to be close to Tatiana, my best friend. She offered for us all to live together, but I got us a house in the same neighborhood instead, not wanting to force you and your twin to have to live in the same house with her kids when you’d never met them before. Of course, if I had known you’d immediately make friends with Vanya and him with Allison, that might have changed.”

Five was confused. “Why haven’t you told me that before?”

“You hadn’t asked, but that’s not the point.” She glanced at the window, and Five realized that it was raining outside, like the weather had caught onto his bad mood and was trying to mimic him. “When Tatiana and I were in college together, I sometimes worried what people thought. Then I married your father, and we drifted apart for many years. In fact, we didn’t talk until the day that he died, and she called me up.”

“Why would she do that if you weren’t friends with her anymore and hadn’t been for at least a few years?”

She smiled. “Five, true friends _never_ stop being friends. If I had not talked to her for _twenty_ years or more, she still would have called me up if she was worried that I was upset. When she called me the day your dad died, it was like we’d never stopped talking, and we were able to immediately get back to what we were.”

“Well, that’s great for you guys, I guess, but Vanya and I have never _not_ been friends.”

“What I’m saying is that… when you have a really good friend, and you have someone that you want to be friends with forever, it doesn’t matter if you’re always as close or if things change with you guys. If you’ve made a true friend, you will always have them as a friend. No matter the circumstances. When somebody loves you that greatly, they put a little imprint on who you are, and, even if the only way they exist to you is through the mark they left, they are still a part of you and can never truly go away.”

“Are you saying Vanya is going to go away?” Five was only growing more distressed through her pep talk. 

“No, I’m not, sweetie.”

“Why did you and Miss Tatiana choose to stay friends when you stopped?” He was pretty sure he could understand it if she explained this, and maybe he’d be able to figure out how to fix his situation with Vanya. 

Mom shrugged. “Because she left a mark on me, and I thought of her everyday for years. When you love somebody as much as I love her, you’re willing to put in effort for them.”

“I’m _trying_ to put work in for Vanya, but she won’t even talk to me.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Have you considered that maybe she doesn’t want grand gestures? Sometimes people just want their friends to acknowledge that they care for them, and for their friends to _want_ to be around them.” 

Five scowled. “She doesn’t want to spend time with me.”

“Have you thought about just asking her if she would?”

He hadn’t. Or, well, he hadn’t in as simple of terms as she was putting. “Could you read that book to me?”

“Yes, dear.” 

* * *

“Five?”

Five sat up more fully. “Did you get my message?”

“Yeah, but…” Vanya blushed. “Klaus heard the message on the recording machine first, and he made all of us listen to it, telling Allison and Mom that they owed him twenty bucks.”

Five furrowed his brows. Now they were _betting_ on them? 

Well, he didn’t care. He wanted his friend back. 

“I talked to my mom, and I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve left a mark on me.”

She looked concerned. “Like you’re going to have a scar from the concussion?”

He shook his head, not sure how he was going to explain it the way his Mom had. Instead, he tried to say her words in a way that would better match the way he’d usually speak. “You have always been my best friend, and you mean everything to me.”

Vanya blushed again. 

“I don’t want to stop being friends, okay? I know that as we get older that we’ll change, but I don’t want our friendship to ever be the thing that changes. You mean too much to me for that.”

Sitting down on his bed, she asked, “Were you lying when you said you didn’t have a crush on Allison?”

“Allison likes twinkies. Don’t you remember? Liking twinkies makes you stupid.”

She laughed, eyes glistening with tears. “How do you even remember that?”

“How would I forget you threatening to cause me minor head trauma?” 

“If I agree to be your friend again,” Vanya started, going serious again. “You’re not going to act like a jerk anymore.”

Five still wasn’t sure what he’d done that made him a jerk (or what he’d done that she _knew_ about, at the very least), but he wasn’t going to lose the opportunity to be Vanya’s friend. Mom may claim that they’d always be friends through the imprint she’d made on him or whatever, but Five didn’t want a Vanya-shaped mark on his soul. He wanted Vanya to actually be beside him as his best friend. He held out his hand, pinky up, ready to loop with her own, _assuming_ she accepted. “I won’t be a jerk ever again. I pinky-promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you haven’t already, check out our mood boards and Spotify playlist for this story!
> 
> [Click here to view Five’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635180972048089088/she-was-not-his-crush-they-were-best-friends)
> 
> [Click here to view Vanya’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635885311846694912/it-was-all-too-muchit-felt-like-as-soon-as-she)
> 
> [Click here to listen to the Neopets Era playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4u2Eg2u0EaOzkH71xhCm9O?si=uJ27-Zb9SCy1HsiTlXGixg)


	6. Cybunny, Cyber-mail, Censored, Solace, Certainties, Circus, Citrus, and Celebrating Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fiveyageddon everyone! To celebrate, we added back-to-back updates for this fic, which is now completed. We hope you enjoy both chapters!
> 
> Warning: This chapter will mention periods, stabbing, and a mild panic attack, but will not be going into any graphic detail of the topics.

One of the many exciting features of Neopets was Neomail, and Vanya was thankful for it. Allison, who mainly used Neopets because she liked her Kougra so much, was telling her about how she was thinking of trying to get a Cybunny when they released it. Though her sister didn’t necessarily care to receive one, Vanya had dreamed of the day she would get one, aware that she wouldn’t be able to get the pet except once a year, on Easter. She’d told Five that she didn’t intend to go to the block party Grace had thrown since they were little kids, explaining that she had to be vigilant and get her Cybunny as soon as she could. Otherwise, she’d miss out on the opportunity. 

She was getting frustrated messaging Allison, who didn’t understand the intricacies of Cybunnies and only wanted them as a way to _impress_ people. Vanya wanted to love the Cybunny with all of her heart, and Allison just wanted to use them for attention. 

Five sounded upset when he found out that she didn’t want to go to Miss Grace’s Easter party, calling her and telling her that his mother would have Ring Pops at the celebration, clearly assuming that she would prioritize _candy_ over her _cyber_ _children._ To make it up to him, Vanya offered to go to their middle school’s yearly fundraiser, The Sparrow Circus. (They lived in a relatively small town, so the middle schoolers were the Junior Sparrows and the high schoolers were just the Sparrows. However, nobody ever wanted to donate to the high schoolers, who were all notorious bullies who’d broken the DARE pledge (pathetic), so the fundraisers usually happened among the Junior Sparrows.) To sweeten the deal even _more_ for Five, she referred to it as a “friend date,” something her mom and Five’s mom went on frequently, calling it that when Five and Vanya questioned why they always went to the movies or did Tae Bo or took bubble baths together. Five would certainly agree if she used this terminology, aware that she meant serious business, considering that Grace and Tatiana had been best friends forever for, like, _actual_ forever, since they were so old. 

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

 **From:** c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya **  
Subject:** hi **  
  
**Dear i_h3ard_a_rum0r,  
i do not think that u should get a Cybunny because ur reasons r bad and I will tell mom.  
\- c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

 **From:** i_h3ard_a_rum0r **  
Subject:** Re: hi  
 **  
**Dear c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya,  
mom will not believe u because i told her u r mad @ me  
\- i_h3ard_a_rum0r

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

While Allison signed off her messages with a bunch of hearts, Vanya used a violin. She had considered for a long time using violin in her screen name, but she constantly remembered all of the lessons she’d been taught about cyber security. If she had put violin in her name, someone would have found her and put her on the Dateline shows, which were super boring and didn’t teach about anything cool with fun animations, like _Captain Planet and the Planeteers_ or _The Magic School Bus._

Vanya was tempted to tell her mother that Allison was lying and that she actually _was_ trying to adopt Cybunnies for bad reasons, but she knew that that would only make her a tattletale, which her mother would hate, saying that she would have never made it back in Russia. Begrudgingly, Vanya signed off of Neopets, dialing Five’s number quickly. 

Grace picked up. “Hello?”

“Hey, Miss Grace! May I speak to Five?”

“Sure, dear! Also, would you tell your mother that I will have to cancel our Tae Bo plans tomorrow when you’re done talking to him?”

“Yeah, sure, of course!” 

“Thank you. Here’s Five.”

Vanya waited patiently while she passed the phone to her best friend. 

“Hey, Vanya! What’s up?”

She burst into tears. “Allison is being a stupid jerkface, and I’m never going to get a Cybunny.”

“What’s a Cybunny?”

A betrayed gasp escaped her lips. “You don’t know the greatest Neopet of all time?”

“JubJubs?”

“No, of course not.” She hated those things, with their giant feet, and Five having said that she looked like them. 

“Grundos, then.”

“Ew, those are ugly.”

“They’re so cool, though! Besides, you like…” He spat the next word. _“Lennies.”_

“No, I’m talking about Cybunnies. The ones that you can only get on Easter.”

Five snorted, “Sounds like a way to hype things up for advertisements.”

Vanya, who was aware that Five only knew about the stock market and finances as a means to sound cool at mathlete conventions, told him, “Stop trying to ruin my fun.”

He sighed. “What’s so special about them?”

“They’re cute!”

“And…?”

“Fluffy?”

“I cannot believe that you have succumbed to the brainwashing of our youth, Vanya.”

“You are only using succumb because it’s a vocab word for our Edgar Allan Poe unit, so who’s succumbing to the brainwashing of our youth _now,_ huh?”

They argued for a few more hours, only stopping when Tatiana hung up the phone, having gotten an irritated look when Tae Bo with Miss Grace had been cancelled. 

By the time that Vanya was done talking to Five, she started getting ready for bed, frowning when she got in the shower and realized that Klaus had used up all of the rose-scented _Herbal Essences_ again and she was stuck with the gross shampoo her mom used after seeing this infomercial about it one time. 

When she went to bed, she hoped that whatever luck was causing her to get all of the Paint Brushes would give her a Cybunny, too, so Allison couldn’t steal it from her. 

* * *

Like magic, her luck really _did._ Bragging, she sent a message to Allison. 

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

 **From:** c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya **  
Subject:** i heard a rumor...... in ur FACE

Dear 1_h3ard_a_rum0r,  
guess who has a cybunny NOW?  
\- c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

 **From:** 1_h3ard_a_rum0r **  
Subject:** Re: i heard a rumor...... in ur FACE **  
  
**Dear c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya,  
what hack did u use for that?  
\- 1_h3ard_a_rum0r

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

 **From:** c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya **  
Subject:** Re: i heard a rumor...... in ur FACE

Dear 1_h3ard_a_rum0r,  
ZOMG i am NOT a cheater >:|  
\- c0ncuss10n_qu33n_5ya

╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌

Annoyed with her sister, Vanya could barely appreciate her _Baby Bottle Pop_ , which was starting to make her tongue taste like metal, something that a lot of citrus flavoring did to her tongue (part of the appeal in her opinion). As she pulled away from the computer in her room (Allison always used Mom’s computer instead of the family computer), she started searching around for her math book, deciding that she would just work on homework instead. 

By the time she’d gotten it done, though, tragedy struck. 

* * *

“Why are you crying?” Five asked her in their first hour class, science. He had been flipping through his binder, trying to find his homework likely. “Who do I have to beat up?”

Though she was certain that Five had stabbed a few people by this point, never having questioned it as it hadn’t changed who he was as a person, Vanya knew she had to get him off the path of hurting anybody when there was nothing he could do. 

“My account was _banned.”_

“What are you talking about?” Five set his hands on hers, trying to calm her down while their teacher started taking roll.

“My Neopets account. It’s gone. Completely. For the next 775 days.”

He made a shocked noise. “That’s like two years.” 

“No one will even be _on_ that site in two years.” 

“What could you have possibly done to get banned that long?”

She had thought about this question a lot, actually. Vanya did _not_ break rules, at least for the most part. Most of the time. On Neopets _,_ though, she hadn’t broken any of the rules at all. With playing the wheels, for example, she never created another account to get more stuff. Granted, she didn’t need to, considering the fact that she already had _plenty_ of expensive things in her inventory, ones that would come every day from random occurrences. Vanya had scoured through her brain, and there was only one possible explanation for it. 

“It was because I _cussed._ On Neomail.”

“You did _what_ now?” Vanya rarely cussed, only doing so when she _really_ had to make a point. Five cussed more frequently, never understanding the purpose of limiting swear words since, ‘they’re just _words, Vanya.’_ To Vanya, though, cussing was something that should be spread out over time, to make the words have more impact.

There was no possible way that Vanya would cuss on Neopets, though.

Except for the fact that she hadn’t _realized_ that she was cussing when she said it.

“Z-O-M-G,” Vanya whispered, wondering if this is how criminals felt when they were on trial. The shame and sadness coursing through was incomparable to anything else she had ever been through, and she couldn’t help but wonder if her pets were even being _fed_ after she’d been banned. Did they put them up for adoption? Was there some kind of Neopia foster care system? What if they were put in a bad home? What if their parents didn’t love them as much as Vanya did? Could she contact one of the Neopet social workers to ask?

The possibilities kept her up at night, but she also knew one truth, a very difficult pill to swallow. If she had been the best parent possible to her Neopets, she wouldn’t have said ZOMG, and now she was facing the consequences for it.

“ZOMG?” Five asked. 

“ZOMG,” she confirmed sadly. 

“That’s… not a cuss word.”

“No, it is,” Vanya told him, grabbing his arm imploringly. “Because I had done _nothing_ else wrong, and it was because of my profane behavior that my pets are suffering now. I'm almost a teenager now. I should know better, so I just have to own up to it.”

“Vanya, it sounds like there was just a mistake on your account or something.”

“No, it’s banned. Ruined. My life is over.”

“Your life isn’t _over.”_

“No, Five, it _is._ Don’t you realize? In two years, when I can finally get back on the site, everybody will have become _legends_ in Neopets, and I will simply never be one of the greats.” Vanya looked up at the school’s ceiling while saying this, her eyes squinting slightly after being blinded by the fluorescent lighting.

“That seems a _little_ dramatic.”

“Says the person who was ready to write a letter of complaint to the school after almost choking on his fluffernutter at lunch yesterday. Whose side are you on?” she cried out, wanting to scream at him but only able to say it quietly, considering the fact that they were in a classroom of jerks. Her mind kept going to the scene of the crime, so she explained it to Five, “It was right around the time that I had gotten my Cybunny, which I had received through… well, I have supremely good luck on Neopets, you see. Like _fantastic_ luck, better than any luck I’ve ever had in my entire life. Anyways, as I was on the site, I sent a Neomail to Allison, to brag and everything. Then, I said it… ZOMG.”

“Again, _not_ a cuss word.”

“I had just gotten a Cybunny,” she whimpered. “This is the _worst_ day of my life.”

Five frowned at her, not speaking. She set her head on her desk, sobbing until the teacher told her that she could go to the restroom, winking at her conspiratorially. Why had everyone just begun to assume that when she was upset she was on her period? Being twelve was the _worst._ She wished she was thirty. 

When she lay down on the tile of the bathroom, lamenting her awful life and crying on the floor, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was how every movie protagonist felt when they were staring out the windows of busses. She was so distraught by staring in the mirror and trying to perfect her best coming of age protagonist pose while figuring out the most angsty background music to accompany the moment that she didn’t even notice Allison walk up behind her.

“Are you on your period?” she asked, raising her brows. “Because Mom made me put some pads in my locker, and I’m pretty sure that they’re still there.”

“Why didn’t she give _me_ any?”

“She might have told me to give you some, and I _might_ have ignored her because you’re too much of a baby to get your period.”

“I’m the same age as you, Allison.”

“Yeah, but I’m more mature. Like, if we were the Thornberry sisters, you’d be Eliza, and I’d be Debbie. That might also be because you look like a nerd, though.”

“I’m telling Mom—”

Allison rolled her eyes, applying some _LipSmackers_ to her lips and pouting in the mirror. “Okay, listen. If it’s Five that’s making you upset, I’m _willing_ to beat him up. He’s pretty shrimpy, so I think I could handle it. I think I could get Luther to join me if I told him that Five tried to claim that he was the older twin again. Though Luther is still a little upset about the time Five said that he was the hotter twin, something about how the joke isn’t funny and _just_ cruel when you’re a fraternal twin.”

“Five _is_ older. He was born five minutes earlier. That’s why his nickname is Five—”

“I thought his nickname was Five because he got a concussion in the five foot section of the pool?”

“No. You’re wrong. That’s been his nickname all of his life. I don’t even know what his real name is because it isn’t relevant.”

“Pretty sure that you started calling him Five to make fun of him.”

“That doesn’t sound right. I’m not mean. Like you.”

Allison frowned at her, setting her hands on her shoulders. “Listen, Vanya. I need you to understand that whatever Five did… Boys are _never_ worth your tears. Especially when they wear that much hair gel.”

“It’s not Five that’s the problem,” Vanya blurted, bursting into tears again. “It’s my Neopets. Allison, I was banned, and now my life is _over._ The world is ending, and there’s nothing I can even do about it!”

Nodding, Allison told her, in a conspiratorial tone, “The pads are just in my locker. I’ll grab them.”

“Allison, my problem isn’t my period!” She hugged her sister. “It’s the same thing as with Lenny, don’t you see? Even though Five thinks Neopets is stupid, every time I play it, I can’t help but think of him. Neopets is a metaphor!”

“I’m not entirely certain that’s what a metaphor is, but, then again, I also have a C in English because I kept putting the stupid answers on my AR tests.”

“He’s my best friend, and I can’t help but think that he’s done with me.”

“Ohmygod, Vanya. How is this the _only_ conflict in your life? If you have so much internal angst over Five, why don’t you just dump him?”

Vanya gasped, eyes widening. “Five is _not_ my boyfriend, and I have other problems too, you know.”

“Oh, right, your Neopets banning. Vanya, have you considered just like… not being so much of a baby?”

 _Not_ like a baby at all, Vanya started crying so loudly that the school counselor popped her head in, telling Vanya, “Hey, Vanya! The school nurse has the products—”

“I am not on my period!” Vanya thundered, so loudly that the entirety of the people near the hallway, having just been let out of their first hour classes, heard. She stormed past Five, who was staring at her in concern (and, strangely, something like guilt), wishing that she could just be seven years old again, when no one had been upset at her for acting like a baby.

* * *

At the Sparrow Circus, which she’d been permitted to go to, _despite_ the first suspension she had ever received for trying to run away from school and yelling at the counselor beforehand, she could tell something was up with Five. However, Allison _had_ made a point when she’d said that the Five and Vanya drama was getting old, and she knew that she was going to have to eventually get to the point that they didn’t always fight so much. Otherwise, everybody was always going to think of her as immature, as a _baby._ Maybe if she wanted people to stop calling her that, she should be open to not getting upset over small things so frequently. It wasn’t really what she liked that was the problem, at least not to her, but she could see that she had _maybe_ acted _somewhat_ irrationally in the past few months. 

“You know, I’m really glad that things are getting better between us,” Five told her, swinging his arm as they held hands while walking around the school. They narrowly avoided their moms, who kept trying to take their picture. “I was worried for a bit there that you didn’t like me anymore.”

“Why’d you think that?” She hadn’t considered that _he_ would worry about that too. 

“Just… Well, you’ve always been a part of my life, and it seemed for a while that you were just _constantly_ mad at me. I even asked Mom about it a lot.”

“You asked Miss Grace?” Vanya couldn’t imagine that. She was the sweetest person Vanya had ever met and like a second mom to her, but Five always acted embarrassed to even be around his mom these days. It was actually really sweet that he would look to her for advice. “Five?”

“Yeah, V?”

“I’m really glad to be your best friend.”

He smiled. “Me too, V.” 

“I feel really bad that I got so upset with you all those times. You’d never betray me or break my heart, but I was so afraid that you would.”

“Why’d you think _that?”_ His palm was starting to get sweaty, and she resisted the urge to wipe her palm on her pants, aware that he would be embarrassed about it. 

“Because… Sometimes I think that you’ve outgrown me.”

Five raised his brows. “How would I outgrow you? We’re like soulmates, you know? Two halves of one whole? We’re _meant_ to fit together.”

Blushing, Vanya told him, “You think we’re soulmates?”

“Yeah, they’re just like assigned best friends forever by the universe or whatever. If my dad hadn't died and our moms hadn’t been best friends, we wouldn’t have ever met.”

“Doesn’t that make our moms the universe, then?”

“Don’t tell them that. It’ll get to their head. Especially Miss Tatiana’s, who scares me already without her being extra powerful.” 

“You know, Five, I think that she sees you and Luther like her other sons.”

“Vanya, I know you meant that to reassure me, but your mother once told Klaus that giraffe mothers will abandon their young right after they give birth to them if they aren’t strong enough, in response to him asking why she didn’t cut crusts on his sandwiches anymore. He was three years old.”

She had heard this story before. During one of Klaus’s counseling sessions, after he’d explained the importance of a mother on somebody’s psyche. But when she had asked her mother about it, Tatiana had told her that the story wasn’t true. 

“Did Klaus tell you that during your th—”

All of a sudden, it occurred to her how rich Klaus had gotten in the past few months, how he was always at the arcade, trying to beat the current DDR high score.

“Has Klaus…. been taking advantage of us?” Five asked as the same time Vanya realized it. “But… but… he said… HIPAA…”

“He’s been using our pain to get _money_ from us. Even with the family discount, I probably gave him like fifteen dollars by now.”

“Fifteen dollars per session? That’s a nice discount.”

“What? No, Five. Fifteen dollars _total._ How much has he been charging you per session?” she asked, wide-eyed.

Vanya watched Five’s face grow red. Rather than answering her question, he said, “I _knew_ I shouldn’t trust therapists.”

Vanya frowned at him, not sure if _that_ should be the takeaway. 

And then it occurred to her… She was pretty sure that Allison had been sort of nudging them together too. As had their moms. 

She was a little glad that she could put things into perspective, though. For quite a while, she’d worried that she was always making a fool of herself. Really, though, how could the embarrassment she was feeling right now _possibly_ get any worse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you haven’t already, check out our mood boards and Spotify playlist for this story!
> 
> [Click here to view Five’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635180972048089088/she-was-not-his-crush-they-were-best-friends)
> 
> [Click here to view Vanya’s Mood Board.](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/post/635885311846694912/it-was-all-too-muchit-felt-like-as-soon-as-she)
> 
> [Click here to listen to the Neopets Era playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4u2Eg2u0EaOzkH71xhCm9O?si=uJ27-Zb9SCy1HsiTlXGixg)
> 
> -
> 
> Also, we're excited to announce that along with this series, we plan to collaborate on two new Fiveya stories: a Powerpuff Girls AU and a Teen Titans AU! We can't wait to share it with y'all! 🥳🥳🥳


	7. Draiks, De-banning, Denial, Diaries, Doom, Dances, Disaster, Declaration, and Dating Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is the final chapter of _paint my world (and hack it too)_ , but there will be five fics within the _Love in the Cyber Age_ series. Read the end author’s note for a snippet from fic two, centered around Myspace.**
> 
> -
> 
>  **Note from the Writers:**  
>  I can’t believe we’ve finished part 1 of this series! This fic will hold a special place in my heart since it really brought me closer to Tori, Julia, and Clover in the process. There’s something about collectively cringing at your preteen selves while brainstorming ideas that really brings people together, lmao. I absolutely loved collaborating with these writers and I’m happy to know that we still have four more parts to go! I want to thank all of our readers who have supported our series so far. Seeing your kudos/bookmarks and reading your comments are always a treat. Stay tuned for part 2!  
>  **\- Ella/ellaphunt19**
> 
> I have appreciated writing for this fic so much, and I have especially enjoyed collaborating with some of my best friends. The idea had originally come from me getting all nostalgic from the days that I used to play Neopets, and it spiralled into a five fic series! This fic has had me both laughing (and let’s be real, _cringing_ ) at my younger years, and it has given me an opportunity to spend more time with my friends, who I really respect as fellow writers! Thank you so much to all of the people who have left kudos, bookmarks, or comments. Hopefully you enjoy what we have in store for this series!  
>  **\- Tori/fiveyaaas**
> 
> Okay, honestly this has been like the _most_ fun I’ve had working on _any fic_ in a while. And being able to plan and work on it with my best friends is _that_ much better ibr. (My fellow Gen-Zers and 2000s babies, don’t worry, I was about as confused as most of you were for a lot of the refs at first. Many explanations were needed.) Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments and bookmarks!!! And _hopefully_ you all will enjoy what else we have planned!!! (for this series and some other possible fics)  
>  **\- Julia/JjdoggieS**
> 
> 👉😎👉  
>  **\- Clover/sunchime**

Five was struggling. 

He knew that the right thing to do was to just tell Vanya that the _real_ reason she’d gotten banned was because he’d hacked into Neopets to get her Paint Brushes and her coveted Cybunny, hoping to have her at his house for Easter, but he had ruined _everything._

Which was why he was resorting to something truly dreadful. Emailing people. 

Specifically, he was emailing the customer service at Neopets, trying to explain his situation. The problem with emailing, however, was that the threats seemed to take so long to get to people, so he eventually asked for a number to call, hoping that he could get faster results. Five was pretty sure that if he threatened enough people, they would eventually give his best friend her account back. Or, well, he’d just have to hack into Neopets again and make it to where _only_ Vanya, as well as anybody who she said deserved it, could use the website. He was _trying_ to take the high road in just threatening to cut off the limbs of these people. 

“Customer service, this is Hazel.”

“Hello, Hazel. This is Five.”

“Five? Interesting name—”

“My actual name is—”

Another voice on the end of the line yelled, “Is _that_ the kid who keeps threatening to stab us, Hazel? Just hang up if it is.”

“Listen,” Five said, inhaling sharply so he could sound as reasonable as possible. “What I did was out of lo— Well, it was out of _like like,_ and I was doing it for the right reasons. Surely you’re a reasonable man, Hazel, and you can understand the complex intricacies of romance and matters of the heart.”

Hazel sighed. “I wish, but I’ve never really had the chance to settle down.”

“That’s unfortunate, Hazel. Listen, I can offer you a date with my math teacher, Miss Agnes, in consolation. She likes donuts and bird watching, so she’s alright.”

“Uh—”

“Hazel. Please understand that when I hacked into Neopets and made Vanya’s account the greatest rags to riches story in all of Neopia, I was doing it because I was protecting my best friend from the horrors of the outside world. She’s sensitive, you see, and I have to assure that she has the best life imaginable. Even if it is just on a website meant for children.”

“Didn’t you say that you were twelve in a previous email?” the woman called. 

Hazel sighed. “Sorry, that’s just Cha-Cha. She does _not_ understand the complex intricacies of romance and matters of the heart. I, however, do like to think of myself as a romantic, and it sounds like you and your best friend really have something special.”

“We do. We’re soulmates.” Five had actually just heard the word recently, but he’d decided that was pretty fitting of a word for it, given that he and Vanya were best friends forever. 

“You’re not soulmates; you’re _twelve.”_

Five was about to ask for Cha-Cha’s location, but Hazel spoke before he could, “Cha-Cha, listen to the kid. This is really sweet.”

“He threatened Dot so much that she quit her job!”

“Dot was a weirdo, anyways. She kept trying to write an apocalypse plot into Neopets, which I really don’t think is appropriate for kids.”

“Repeated apocalypse plots _do_ get a little old,” Cha-Cha allowed. “But this kid shouldn’t be allowed on Neopets, and neither should his best friend.”

“I am willing to be banned for life,” Five told her. “For _life.”_

“You’re willing to sacrifice your account just like that?” Hazel sounded like he was tearing up. “You know what, kid? I’ll give Vanya her account back.”

“Time is money, Hazel. Stop letting this kid waste it.”

“No, Cha-Cha. I’m _done_ with your abuse. I’m going to get Miss Agnes’s number and find happiness, like this Five kid has.” With that declaration, he asked, “What was Vanya’s username again?”

* * *

“Five!” 

When his best friend came to his house that night, Five smiled widely at her, not really listening to Tatiana ranting to Mom about Tae Bo again. She was _very_ particular about their exercise regime, for reasons that Five didn’t entirely understand. He hoped Tatiana didn’t have an eating disorder, which Five had watched a documentary on in health class last year. With how many hours they spent on it, he was pretty sure that it qualified as overexercise. 

“How have you been?” Vanya asked, beaming. Before he could answer, though, she shouted, “I have good news!”

“What’s your good news?” Five knew, though, and he knew something else, too. 

He was finally willing to admit it. Five had spent hours upon hours and given threat upon threat for her. 

Five _did_ like Vanya that way, and he was _finally_ ready to tell her. 

“I got de-banned from Neopets. This really nice guy emailed me, explaining that they’d just made an error on my account. Best part is, I got to keep my Cybunny!”

“That’s so great, Vanya! I’m so happy for you!” He’d given away Miss Agnes’s number for her to keep that thing, and he was thankful for his teacher’s loneliness, hoping that it would be useful to him for future endeavors. “Were you planning on a sleepover tonight?”

“Yeah, for sure! You want to meet my Cybunny?” 

He did _not,_ but his friendship was already in a precarious situation. Plus, he was soon going to admit his feelings for her, and he had figured out through his Mom’s and Dad’s marriage, what little he saw of it, that people were supposed to do things they didn’t like with people they’d grow to detest when they were in love. Five would certainly manage at least _a_ meeting with her internet pet, though he still didn’t really see the appeal. JubJubs were cute, though, and Grundos had a certain quality to them that Five thought was pretty cool. 

“Sure,” Five told her. “I’m going to go make some fluffernutters for us, and I’ll get some Capri Suns, too. Do you want Pacific Cooler or Fruit Punch?”

“Fruit punch.” He nodded, walking to the kitchen and wishing that Miss Tatiana and his mom were more interesting people to eavesdrop on. They were both pretty boring. 

“Hey, Five,” Miss Tatiana called, and he jumped, ready to scamper out of there and hide from her. All she said, though, was, “I’m really glad that you and Vanya are friends again. Vanya is a weird girl and doesn’t make friends. You are her only chance at becoming popular. Like Alexey.”

“Who’s Alexey?” 

“Don’t talk back, boy.”

Five frowned at her, spreading peanut butter over bread and not talking in hopes that she wouldn't beat him up. He was not confident that he’d win that fight. 

“Why didn’t Allison and Klaus come?” Mom asked her. “I remember Allison saying that she wanted to show me her gymnastics routine.”

Miss Tatiana sighed. “Klaus is at the arcade, using all of the money he keeps stealing from the kids, and Allison ran over to Claire’s to get some of this roll-on body glitter.”

Mom nodded. “Alright. Well, you can pick Vanya up tomorrow if you want, and I’ll just see Allison’s routine at her meet.”

They hugged before Tatiana went back to her car. Five finished making the sandwiches, cutting them in half diagonally before grabbing two Capri Suns. 

“How are you feeling?” Mom was searching around her cabinet for tea, smiling over to him. “You’ve had a rough few months, I know.”

“I’m feeling great.” He hugged her. “And I’m really grateful for you, Mom.”

She sounded like she was trying not to cry when she told him, “I’m grateful for you too, Five. Luther is studying for a big test, so could you and Vanya try to keep it down a little? I’ll make some cookies, too, if you want.”

“Sure, we can keep it down. And cookies sound great!” Vanya _was_ waiting for him, though, so he told her, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

“Okay, Five. Love you!”

“Love you too.” He wasn’t sure why she was acting so weird right now, and he imagined if he asked she’d start crying, which would _certainly_ distract him from spending time with Vanya. 

By the time he got to his bedroom, though, he kind of wished he’d asked Mom what was wrong. Or asked for Vanya to not stay over. Propped open in Vanya’s hand was his journal, and she was reading an entry from earlier that school year.

“What do you mean you don’t like me?” Fat tears welled up in her eyes, and Five realized that her silent treatments were _much_ better than _this._ “You say it over and over, that you don’t like me _that_ way. Do you not want to be my friend, Five?”

“No, I do,” he hastened to say. “Of _course_ I want to be your friend.”

“But you don’t like me _that_ way.”

“Well, that’s not… I mean. I _do_ like—”

“You hate me,” she accused, wincing when she realized Luther could probably hear her. “I _knew_ it. Of course you were just waiting around for somebody better.” 

“No, there’s no one—”

Her face crumpled, and she stood up, walking to the door of his room, turning around to tell him, “You don’t have to lie to me, okay? I know that you don’t want to be my friend, and that’s fine. But I’m not doing this anymore. It makes me too sad.” She glanced away, biting her lip. “I’ll sleep in the living room because I don’t want Mom to have to come get me, but _please_ don’t bother me again. Everybody already thinks I’m a baby. I don’t want to prove them right.”

* * *

Five was pretty sure that they weren’t ever going to be friends again. Because their lives were so intertwined, they still saw each other, but, for the most part, Vanya interacted with Allison and Klaus when they had family events. At school, they were still paired together in all of their classes, but Vanya refused to talk about anything other than their assignments. 

Klaus wasn’t helping. No matter how many consultations that he had with him, there was no way that he could better his situation for Vanya. The months passed on, and he was starting to get to his breaking point, feeling so lonely without his best friend. He didn’t try to make new friends, worried that she would see it and think that he’d moved on without her. His thirteenth birthday passed, and they were still not speaking. The wish he made when blew out his candles did not seem to have any effect on anything, either. 

He knew Mom was concerned, as was Miss Tatiana. He probably had more conversations with _her_ than he did Vanya, which was both unsettling because she was scary and also because he missed his best friend. No matter what he did, though, she didn’t listen.

She was through with him, all because he’d not appreciated her enough. He wanted to do something to fix it, but even sewing _another_ Lenny didn’t work. In fact, when he’d presented it to her, avoiding her eyes when he explained how important she was to him, she’d launched Lenny into oncoming traffic. Then, when he’d tried to scoop the plushie’s dying body into his arms off the street and present it to her again, she’d started stabbing it with a pencil. 

The most upsetting thing was that Vanya hadn’t even learned of his _other_ betrayals, like what happened to the first Lenny, for example. Or, also, the fact that she’d been banned from Neopets for a bit, simply because he had hacked into it to give her a Cybunny. There was nothing that he could _do,_ without assuring that Vanya would never want to be his friend again. If he told her the other ways that he had failed her, surely that would happen. 

Though, really, how could _that_ be the most upsetting thing? Because every time he turned his head, to make a joke or share a story, his best friend wouldn’t be there. 

Vanya hadn’t moved on, either. She just started focusing on school more and more. The teachers never commented on it, assuming that it had been her suspension that had turned her behavior around, like suspensions actually worked or something. Five wanted to yell at them, for not questioning Vanya’s dark and desolate life. Surely, she had to be lonely, without a best friend around. 

If not, it just meant that _Five_ was lonely, and he was alone in feeling so. 

Maybe it was just that people at their age went through this. Was this what coming of age meant? Being unhappy constantly? That’s what the movies had made it seem like. 

Five’s feelings for Vanya, too, couldn’t have come at a worse time. Because he could not say them without looking like a complete idiot, he was forced to keep them inside, and it was weighing on him. Without the ability to tell Vanya, he didn’t want to tell _anybody._ It was purposeless. All it would do was somehow get back to her, and she’d hate him even more. 

By the time that summer had gotten there, Five stopped by the neighborhood pool, wondering if Vanya would be there. Neither her nor any of her family were there, though, and when Five asked his mom about it, she glanced up and told him that they were on vacation. Five decided then and there that vacations were the most stupid thing to ever exist and that he hated them. 

It was a conclusion _completely_ unrelated to Vanya, of course.

As he waded through the pool, narrowly dodging a few games of Marco Polo and Shark in the Water, he wondered where in the world she was. His mom had said something about Florida, but that didn’t seem like a real place, more like a gateway to _Hell._ He hated Florida, _and_ its stupid shape and stupid people and stupid roller coasters. Roller coasters were just a bunch of people waiting in lines for the possibility of death, and Five _hated_ them with a fiery passion. Why would Vanya want to go on a bunch of tourist death traps or spend time with the _oodles_ of old people that lived in Florida? Was she making _friends_ with the old people? It wasn’t _Five’s_ fault that he couldn’t grow a cool mustache yet, and she shouldn’t be punishing him for that. 

He understood what Vanya had meant, when she’d said her life was over. If losing her Neopets felt anything _close_ to what Five was going through, it would feel like the world was ending. Not just her life but _everyone’s._ There was an apocalypse in Five’s mind, which wasn’t an overstatement by any means at all. If anything, it was an _under_ statement. 

Because how was he supposed to keep living life without his best friend around?

* * *

When school first went back in session, the teachers still put Vanya and Five together, which he was thankful for. It was his eighth grade year, and he was determined to be Vanya’s best friend again. He would do _whatever_ it took to achieve this. Even if it meant stabbing more people, which wasn’t illegal because he hadn’t gotten caught. At least that’s what Klaus said when Five caught him rolling a joint one day, and he liked the sound of that so he was going with it. 

“Hey, Vanya,” he told her when she sat down next to him in Algebra. “How was Florida?”

Obviously, she would tell him that Florida was the worst and that she hated all old people and refused to make friends with them, ever, so Five thought the question would yield him good results. If she realized how poor of a company old people and Florida both were, she would certainly become friends with him again, since he wasn’t Florida _or_ old. 

“I liked it,” Vanya chirped, sounding just the slightest bit apprehensive. “I’m really excited to go to California next year, though.” 

Five _hated_ California. 

“California is just a bunch of people that smell like suntan lotion,” Five told her, not entirely sure if that was true. “It is stupid, and you could not find friends there if you _tried.”_

She sounded confused. “Five, Mom and Miss Grace were planning on all of us taking that trip together. Why would I try to find friends there?”

Oh, right. Their families were going to California together next year. Well, his statement still stood. 

“How is your mom?” 

“She’s doing great! Though…” She glanced down, looking a little sad. “I think she misses you.”

That made no sense. Why would Tatiana miss him? He was still pretty sure she hated him a little bit, _and_ she had talked to him _much_ more than Vanya had. “Why does she miss me?”

“Just because you know…” She shrugged. “You’re not around as much.”

Was Vanya trying to say that _she_ missed him? He would have to consult with Klaus on this matter, though he was apprehensive after all that Klaus had done to steal his money, which Five was _pretty_ sure had just all been an elaborate scam. 

If Vanya was suggesting that she missed him, _maybe_ she was suggesting that she wanted to be friends again. 

* * *

After the first few weeks of class, there was always a Fall Harvest Dance, where Five intended to make his confession. He would do it after the requisite _Macarena,_ asking the DJ if he could borrow the mic for doing so. If the DJ said no and rejected the fifty dollars that he would slip them, then he would have to take drastic measures. As his mother and Miss Tatiana were chaperoning, he hoped this would not be the case. 

He had told Luther, Allison, and Klaus of his plans, too, hoping that if he had their support he wouldn’t make a complete fool of himself. Allison kept suggesting a romantic song on karaoke, but he was _not_ going to do that, since he wanted to look cool and not like a twenty-five year old having a breakdown. 

With all of his plans in place, he got ready for the dance, putting on his best shirt and jeans. By the time that he got there, though, he saw Vanya and Allison had both worn dresses, and he was a little distressed about it, upset that he hadn’t gotten as fancy as them. However, there was no going back now, and he tried his best to avoid dancing, even during the Macarena, which everybody knew the dance to, only joining in when Vanya told him he had to, dancing beside Luther. He wasn’t threatened by his twin, so it wasn’t a problem. 

“Do you think that she’s going to be mad at me?” he asked his mom, who was trying to smooth down his hair, muttering that he would mess up the pictures. Five wasn’t sure what she meant by that, considering the fact that he’d made her promise not to take any pictures or videos of this. “I don’t want to make things worse.”

“With how much hair gel you used, there is no _possible_ way that this could be any worse,” Tatiana assured him, and he nodded, glad that she’d noticed how much hair gel he’d used. 

Mom smiled at him. “You have nothing to be concerned about, sweetie. You’re going to do great up there.”

“Vanya has very low standards, so that helps,” Tatiana added. Five had never seen her be so supportive of him, and he thought she was a little surprised, too, when he hugged her fiercely. She grunted, awkwardly patting his head, “You’ll do okay, kid.”

“Alright.” He walked forward to the DJ, handing him the fifty before kicking his shin for him to drop the mic he was holding, which let out a loud shrieking noise. Frowning, Five grabbed the mic, and spoke into it, “As you all know I’m Five. Or, well, my real name is—”

_SHRIEEEEEEK._

He sighed, adjusting the mic again. “I am here today to let you all know that I am in l—” His voice shook, staring at all of the crowd watching him, probably zoning in on the pimple he had on his chin. “I _like like_ Vanya, who is standing over in that general direction.”

Everybody turned their bodies in the direction that Five had gestured to, and she awkwardly waved to the crowd. 

“The truth is, I refused to admit it to myself for quite a while, and I made a bunch of mistakes in our friendship because of it. Ones that Vanya found in my journal—”

“We all know it’s a diary, Five!”

“It’s not a diary, Miss Tatiana!” he snapped, shaking his head clear of the mortifying thoughts that were rushing through it. “That’s not the point, though. What I’m _trying_ to say is that I miss my best friend, and that… I wish we were more than friends, too.”

“Are you even allowed to be up there?” the school principal called out, and Five sighed.

“I will go, but I want everyone to know that I like Vanya and I don’t care what anybody says about it. If I wasn’t banned from Neopets, I would gladly play every day with her, but, as it is, I’m banned for life. Vanya, you’re my best friend, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of for caring about you at all.”

“Okay, that’s great, Five!” she yelled. “But I don’t want to get suspended again, so could you, like, get off the stage now?”

Five nodded, figuring that he was already on thin ice and walking over to her. The DJ smoothly turned on the _Cha Cha Slide_ , and the masses started to dance, including Allison, Klaus, and Luther, though he was pretty sure that they were trying to eavesdrop on Vanya and Five. 

“Do you really mean it?” Vanya asked, grabbing his hands. “You really… _like like_ me?

“I do.”

“And you’re not embarrassed to be my friend?”

“Of course not.”

She leaned forward, and Five gasped just as she kissed him, not in the rain but under disco lights, with the _Cha Cha Slide_ playing in the background. And then, when DJ Casper said, ‘ _Five hops this time,'_ he heard Klaus enthusiastically hop over to him and shove him into Vanya. Five lost his footing, grabbing the first thing that he could catch onto, hearing a flash of a camera only when he realized that he'd grabbed onto Vanya’s _butt._

Yelping and turning red, Five started stuttering out apologies to Vanya, who was struggling to even breathe from her own mortification. 

“Man, the honeymoon sure came quick for them,” Klaus yelled over the music to Allison and Luther. 

Luther frowned at him. “You totally pushed him, dude.”

“So that we could get it into the yearbook,” Allison protested. “We had to get the best possible photo, since we’re the co-presidents of the yearbook club this year.”

“You _staged_ that?” Vanya gasped.

“I’m sure you’ll laugh about this one day.”

(She would, but it wouldn’t be for _many_ years.)

* * *

Vanya and Five had their first date at the roller rink, asking their moms for privacy and forcing down their embarrassment when they started snickering about it when they dropped them off. 

“We can skate as a couple without guilt this time,” Vanya pointed out. Five hadn’t been guilty before, but he wasn’t going to argue with her this soon into their relationship. “And we can get ice cream afterwards, if you want.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” He blushed, glancing down before asking, “Am I allowed to kiss you again?”

Her ears tipped red. “Yeah, you’re allowed to, whenever you want.”

Five settled for grabbing her hand, waiting until the couple’s skate to kiss her. 

* * *

Though Five had been banned on _Neopets_ for life, he did get to watch Vanya take care of her Neopets. She was a little surprised to find that she wasn’t as ‘lucky’ as she had been before, but she worked so often playing games and going to events that she was able to get Paint Brushes on her _own._ He had to admit, too, that her Cybunny was cute, and she was even able to snag a Draik. (Sadly, he could never convince her to adopt a JubJub, and any time that he suggested they were cute, she told him that she was not above giving him another concussion.) 

* * *

The school year passed by, and eventually they were getting enrolled for their high school, holding hands while they picked out which electives and foreign language they wanted to take, trying to ignore their mothers telling them that they were adorable the entire time.

At one point, Five learned of a _new_ site, one that he wouldn’t be banned from and was more catered to his age, and he asked Vanya the night he found out about it. 

“I guess I could sign up,” she shrugged. “What’s the site called?”

“Myspace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Subscribe to our [Love in the Cyber Age](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019037) series to receive a notification straight to your inbox once part 2 has been posted! As promised, here is a snippet for the second fic, _Online Now_ : 
> 
> “Vanya wasn’t sure _why_ , exactly, Five was upset. They’d been a happy couple for the past few years, and ever since she’d started sending him letters from her music camp, he’d been acting more and more irritated with his replies.
> 
> Okay, she was pretty sure it might be because she’d made friends with another guy once she’d gotten here. _Clive._ ”


End file.
